Disintegration

"Hello."

She tried to breathe a sigh of relief but it stuck in her throat. "Hello. It's me. How you doin' stranger?" She tried to sound chipper.

A moment of silence. "Oh, hey!" He sounded chipper too but she heard an edge of flatness.

Maybe it was just her imagination. Her hands shook. God she missed him. "I missed you so I had to call." She didn't know what to say next. The truth was far too jagged. I shouldn't have called...

Where were you? Why didn't you answer? Don't you know how much it hurts? Do you even care? "What have you been up to?" she asked. She closed her eyes and listened. She still had rose-colored hope.

He told her. It was short: work, a movie, a bad mood. An apology.

An afterthought? she wondered. She hung up. Her hands still shook. It was good to hear his voice. Wasn't it? She felt like she shouldn't have called.

 

2004 Sonja Torres

 

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