He felt a little
sick. There was no way for this to go well.
“Who the hell is
she?” Her voice was full of rage and bordered on tears.
He thought quickly.
“She’s nobody…just somebody I knew from a long time ago,
before I even knew you. She sort of latched onto me. It’s no
big deal.” She’s an amazing
woman I’ve known for almost 10 years, who’s always been
there for me no matter what. She was there before you, and the
one before that and I know she’ll be there long after you’re
“It is a big deal!
I can’t believe you let her do this. Why is she writing you
like this? Why didn’t you tell her to stop? Block her mail?”
Outrage colored her face red.
wasn’t hurting anything. It’s just words, like a game. Plus,
she’s married. I’ve tried to get rid of her before and she
always finds me. I dunno…it was just easier to let her keep
writing. It’s not like I’m in love with her or anything.” Because
I asked her to write. Because I like it. Because I write back.
Because I like how she makes me feel. Because I like how she
thinks. Because she loves me.
“And what about me?
Doesn’t she know you have a girlfriend? I want it to stop
right fucking now! And if you won’t tell her, I will.”
He knew that she
would, too. Shit. “Yes, she knows. Like I said, it doesn’t
matter. I don’t care about her. It’s not real…Look, fine,
I don’t care. It’s done. She’s gone. I’ll never talk to
her again. I don’t need any of this shit. It’s you that
matters. I’m sorry, ok?” Yes,
she knows. She knows I hate this. She even tries to help, giving
me advice, telling me to be nice to you even though I know
it’s hard for her. Only yesterday she tried again to back
away, give me space so she wouldn’t make it harder for us. I
told her not to go. I told her I give up everything for you. So
now that I've said ‘goodbye’, she already knew why. One day when
you’ve gone, I’ll talk to her again. I’ll say ‘I’m
sorry’ and she’ll say ‘it’s ok, I understand’, like
she always does. But it’s not ok. I hope she knows.